Our Royal Identity

As promised, here is the talk I gave at the CCO Women's Night - a reflection on our identity as children of God and heirs to His kingdom, leading up to Good Friday.

There’s a cute saying that I really like, that goes: “I am a princess, not because I have a prince, but because my father is a King.”

What does that mean?  Romans 8: 16-17 says, “we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with him.” So we are heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, so we are heirs to the kingdom of heaven, because we are God’s children.  Galatians 3:26 says, “for through faith you are all children of God in Christ Jesus.”

What St. Paul told the Romans and Galatians applies to you too, and to every single person in the world.  How did we get to be heirs?  Is it because we’ve worked our butts off all our life to be a good person so that we could go to heaven? No, it's because this is what we were created for and what Christ has freely given us. We didn’t earn our position as heirs by our own merit, it’s a gift. This is how we get to be heirs, and this is why I get to say I’m a princess.  I have a royal daddy, who created me and who loves me with a love I cannot ever hope to fathom because it’s so huge, and because Jesus built the bridge for me so I could claim my royal place as princess if I so choose.

Speaking of princesses, we’re about to watch Tangled, which I’m sure you’ve all seen.  As you probably know, Tangled is about a princess named Rapunzel who gets stolen from her parents and hidden in a tower by Mother Gothel, who wants her for her magic hair.  Living in the tower, Rapunzel has no idea what the outside world is like, or that she is in fact the princess.  But something compels her to leave the tower to find out the truth about the stars, or lanterns, she sees in the sky on her birthday.

In her heart, Rapunzel knows that the lanterns have something to do with her.  But it’s a scary thing, to venture out into the world when all she knows is her tower.

I can totally relate to that, I’m sure some of you can too.  Rapunzel has a life she is familiar with.  It’s all that she knows, so even if she knows that there’s something better out there for her, it’s scary to head out into the unknown.  It takes courage and a leap of faith to jump down from that tower.  For me, there were always things that were familiar to me that I held on to that God didn’t want me to have, and it took a lot of courage to let go, but when I did I experienced so much more joy and freedom. The image of the tower invokes the idea of a prisoner, and by experience I know that my own ideas of what’s best for me sometimes keep me a prisoner.  But Rapunzel had no idea she was actually a prisoner, and neither did I.  I thought life was great! But when I accepted that God intended something better for me, even if it didn’t appear to be better at first, I experienced much more freedom.

Why would you settle for a tower when you can have a kingdom?

Growing up in her tower, Rapunzel never even knew she had a royal identity.  How does she know, then, to leave her tower?  What is it that compels her to leave the tower?  It’s the search for her identity.  Everyone does that.  We all look for that thing that we love the most – like writing, or music, or sports, or helping others – whatever it is that brings us joy in life, that’s how we create your identity, as a writer, a musician, an athlete, a nurse or whatever.  When Rapunzel sings her song, “when will my life begin?” she is waiting for the opportunity to discover the thing that will fulfil her.  But the only way she could really feel fulfilled in her identity was by claiming the very core of who she is, a royal princess.  And the only way she could discover this and live it is by making that leap of faith and abandoning the life that was familiar to her in her tower.  She didn’t even know this was what she was born to be, she just made what seemed to be a rash and crazy idea to follow the promptings in her heart.

And what happened to her once she found her new life as a princess?  Suddenly, she was free to have the things she desired – like, for example, her love with Flynn/Eugene.  It wouldn’t make sense if Flynn Rider came up the tower, fell in love with Rapunzel, and they live happily ever after staying in the tower, because Rapunzel’s life would still be incomplete.  She would have something good and wonderful, but her heart would still be restless and searching for more.  And all throughout her journey in her search she is still held back from being with Flynn, until she is free and ready to really be with him at the end.  She has an amazing happily ever after with Flynn, but not just because of Flynn, but because of herself, and her freedom.

We all want that happily ever after kind of story, with this nice guy who will sing along with us when we start singing songs from Tangled.  But what could be better than giving your heart to a man when you are really living in the freedom of what you were created to be?  Why settle for love in the tower when there’s something so much better in store for you?  I’ve tried to settle for love in the tower, and I promise it doesn’t work.  It didn’t make me happy.  I was afraid to venture out of my tower because I liked the life I had created for myself there.  I liked the life I imagined I would have.  I didn’t even realize I was imprisoning myself by following my own plans for my life instead of listening to God’s plans for me.  But one day God showed me that my plans weren’t going to work, and that only He could make me truly happy.

Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be given you besides.”  This has been a key bible passage for me in my life.  All the things my heart desires are given to me in time, when I leave my tower, and seek first the kingdom.  And I don’t have a prince yet, but I trust in God’s promise.  Pope Benedict said, “Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything. When we give ourselves to him, we receive a hundredfold in return. Yes, open, open wide the doors to Christ – and you will find true life.”

All it takes to find this true life is the courage to look for it and to respond to it with a yes.  We have to listen to the promptings in our heart, because God speaks in the silence of our heart, even if we don’t understand them, and we think they’re stars when they’re actually Chinese lanterns, and we don’t know what they mean.  Rapunzel listened to her heart, and it led her to true freedom.

To go back to that first bible quote I gave you.  “We are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with him.”  So now we know we’re heirs to the kingdom – but what about the second part of that passage, “if only we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with him.” What does it mean to “suffer with him?”  Well, Christ’s suffering for us was an act of love, so it would be an act of love to Him if we did certain things, not necessarily things that make us suffer, but just things out of love for Him, like praying and fasting and good deeds to people, that can unite us to His suffering on the Cross, so we can share in his redemptive suffering.
As you all know, this Friday is Good Friday, the day we commemorate this act of love Jesus did for us on the cross.  What does Christ’s sacrifice mean for you?  Just think about it, in your head.  What has it done for you?

I want you to write down a Good Friday resolution, something you are going to do on Good Friday to unite yourself to Christ’s suffering.  Maybe you want to pray the Rosary on Good Friday, or maybe attend the Good Friday service, or do the Stations of the Cross.  Or maybe you want to do a good deed to someone, or help out with chores around the house.  Anything you want, that extra thing that you will do to share in Christ’s suffering.

Because if we share in His suffering, we inevitably also share in His Resurrection, in the kingdom that He has promised us we are heirs to.