How being pregnant made me sympathize with the pro-choice.. then strengthened my pro-life view

A few weeks into pregnancy, it was really hard to see this feeling inside of me as a human baby. It still is, and I've had an ultrasound and heard the heartbeat. The humanity of the baby is difficult to see, because it's so hidden.

A few weeks into pregnancy, it seemed to easy to see it as nothing but a sickness. I could take something to make it go away. I could make it go away, if I didn't want it.

But I did want it. It was just hard to see that the thing that I wanted - a child - and the thing I was feeling - pregnancy - were the same. They weren't the same.

At week ten or so, I saw a typical graphic image of an aborted 12-week fetus, its little red well-formed legs and arms clinging to a coin for size comparison. It was unbelievable to me that something that human looking, that real, and that fragile and innocent, could be terminated. Frequently. Every day. It didn't make any sense to me how people could look at that photo of that human child and still argue for the right to kill it.

Between weeks 10 and 12, I saw a few other pro-life posts. I didn't pay them too much attention because it's harder to look at it when you're pregnant too. It feels so much sadder and scarier that someone the same age as my Little could be ripped apart and tossed aside as "medical waste". After seeing him or her jumping up and down on the ultrasound screen at 11 weeks, looking pretty human and real to me, I can't imagine how anyone can harm that little thing.

At week 13, a moment of sympathizing with the pro-choice perspective returned to me. I felt overwhelmed by negative messages about motherhood, overwhelmed by the cries for advice and listening ears to vent to on mothers groups I was part of on Facebook. In my mind, I couldn't reconcile the scary, overwhelming challenge that motherhood appeared to be with the excited congratulations I was hearing for our "blessing" or our "little joy". I couldn't rectify how it could be a blessing or a joy when it looked so difficult and what-the-hell-am-I-getting-myself-into? And how easy it could be, in another circumstance, in someone else's shoes, to change my mind and back out of the pregnancy because it looks too hard.

Shame on our society for promoting abortion over other options for women in crisis pregnancies. Women should be encouraged in their motherhood and helped through it. No woman deserves to go through the experience of an abortion. I'm sure it must be traumatizing even for those who advocate for it.

My baby, now 13 weeks plus, according to my pregnancy app is fully formed, but still tiny. Looks like normal human baby proportions now, but just tiny. And all I can say is, please, please, please, women of the world, desperate or desensitized or whatever the case may be, don't hurt your little one. Choose life.

I saw another pro-life post today. It's an extremely graphic description of some of the horrors witnessed by former abortionists. You can read it here if you can stomach it. It got to me the same way the others have, even though most of the time I don't click on them anymore. The pictures most of the time are not horrible graphic aborted babies. I've been seeing a lot of the ones that show living, developing fetuses.

They look like babies.

24 weeks

Some Thoughts Arising from "There Isn't Someone Out There For Everyone, and Yes You Might Die Alone" (Part 2)

I find that Catholic women share articles all the time about how the Catholic dating situation sucks, but meanwhile you don't often get to see what the men would say about it. I asked Catholic gentlemen for their opinion, and this is what one of them had to say. (See Part 1 before reading this, and the article from Matt Fradd that sparked this whole conversation)

Words from a Catholic gentleman reflecting on Matt Fradd's and other articles:

Some Thoughts Arising from "There Isn't Someone Out There For Everyone, and Yes You Might Die Alone" (Part 1)

An excellent and important article from Catholic speaker and apologist Matt Fradd was recently circulating Facebook, posted by women all saying, "THIS. YES."

I have shared articles like this before, because I think it is extremely important for women to learn and understand that the idea that "there's someone out there for everyone" is not true. This is along the same lines as a post I wrote a couple years ago entitled "Forever Alone?" (incidentally published this same day; there must be something so blog-post-able about the eve of October!), in which I had shared a few other articles speaking to the idea of not waiting for something that might not come, and more importantly of being satisfied with everything you have already been given - especially the gift of Christ Himself.

This time around, though, a new perspective cropped up for me; the important perspective of the men. One must not forget that it is not only women who are struggling in their attempts at dating and courtship. A couple of Catholic men responded to the article I had shared from Matt Fradd and the ensuing conversations led me to conclude three things:

A Song for the Sea

Hello! It has been way too long since I have posted anything on my blog. The things I want to post are beginning to pile up again though, so that's a good sign!

I hope you enjoy this short story that spilled out of me one day at my desk in my classroom while I was supposed to be cleaning up at the end of the school year. 

My first year of teaching taught me many things. One of those things is that the first year teaching is real tough, though it was still pretty amazing. Luckily, I don't have to be a first time teacher ever again. Another thing I learned is that even though your students will inspire you with their own creativity, you will never have the motivation or time to do any creative things yourself unless they are within the specific parameters of a class lesson plan.

So my writing went on a little vacation, but it came back to spend some time with me again in June, and I think it's here to stay again, at least for a little while.

This story is called the Song of the Sea, and it was written Wednesday, June 17, 2015.

A Song for the Sea

You know you love someone when you cannot think about anything else but them.

For little Angela, it was James Harding. For Louisa, it was Henry. For me, not a who, a what: the sea.

Four Important Things Matt Walsh Said in his radical and borderline-offensive article on depression, and Two Important Things he Forgot

In light of a beloved actor's recent tragic death, there has been a lot of talk about depression. The last thing I want to do with this blog post is cause any offense to loved ones in my life who do suffer from depression, but I think that Matt Walsh had some good points and I would like to reiterate them without having to share the article itself alone. Matt Walsh is a man who writes really radical articles that are always blunt, direct, and terrifying to share, and yet I always find myself agreeing with him.

The title of Matt Walsh's article was, in itself, an attack already. "Robin Williams didn't die from a disease, he died from his choice." But what Matt Walsh was trying to say is true. And important.

Growing Up

Growing Up (a poem)

Today, I'm turning twenty-three;
Adulthood has crept up on me.
It's like when you wake up and - whoa -
The world's beneath a foot of snow!
It sits there, heavy, quiet, new,
And you're like, "now what do I do?"
It came from nowhere, so it seems.

Then more flakes fall, like little dreams
That form the white expanse of snow,
A fresh new look of where you'll go,
And deep within, the kid you still are
Looks past the buried, snowed-in car
And hollers:
"Do you wanna
build a
SNOWMAN?!"

Morning Glory

Today I will finish reading a book that has been one of the best reads ever: 33 Days to Morning Glory by Fr. Michael E. Gaitley. In 33 short daily readings I have learned so much and am ready today for an amazing thing called Marian consecration, in which I entrust myself to Jesus through Mary.

On the Cross at Calvary, Jesus said to his beloved disciple John, "behold your Mother," and to Mary He said, "behold your son," and from that day forward John took Mary into his home (John 19:27). What I never really knew or thought of before was how Jesus wasn't talking to just John, but using John to represent every single one of us in all of humanity. Behold, she is our mother, and we too should take her into our homes (/hearts) from this day forward. By consecrating myself to Jesus through Mary, I am allowing Mary, Jesus' mother, whom He has given to all of us as our mother as well, to bring me closer to her Son. It's a very special bond between me and my heavenly mama.

Fr. Gaitley's book takes the reader through the Marian teachings of four great saints: St. Louis de Montfort, St. Maximilian Kolbe, Blessed Mother Teresa, and Blessed Pope John Paul II. Whether or not you expect yourself to be ready to make a consecration at the end of the book, I would highly recommend reading this simple and engaging book about the Blessed Mother's relationship to us, her children on earth. She loves us deeply and wants to be closer to us, like a real mom, and ultimately wants us to be intimate with her Son Jesus, our Lord and Saviour.